Seeing the wall standing in the room

Seeing the wall standing in the room
Figuring out architecture of my feet
Restless calves letting go into the wooden floor
Dancing dots playing out their work on the white

Staying out of it all
While standing in the midst
Perhaps this is hell and I’ve come to love it
Just as long as I don’t step

Today again so much nothing I
Find meaning in and lost
Myself however remain tracing
As words scribble but cannot keep up
with the flux of it

Moving I place myself in it
Receptive to its behaviour
I mimick it, perhaps to be recognized
Or rather to move myself into its movement

If only a wish,
Meant purely sensation does come
First forms of approval, of the gates
Coming near until the feeling arrives
That has overtaken me

I cannot go search for it
Only making myself a lighter man
A more attuned receptacle
Discharged from any clinging`

Backpack emptied and left behind
Not here to swim above water with the inflatables
Not to drown but to dive in
And learn to navigate.