Do not start a practice if you cannot do the dishes

Dirty dishes and cups scattered all over the kitchen.
i noticed them. But internally i decided
i’ll do it later.
i tell myself i have more important things to do:
i have a practice.
i explain to myself: i am going to the Mountain. (the daoists also say that)
i do my morning form
it’s like a cleaning for my body and my mind. it’s really great.
it grounds me.

i come home from the park.
still the dishes are not done
and still
i do not have the time for it.
now it is time for my journaling practice.
i sit myself down in my special sitting position
and write down my thoughts.
i do it the automatic writing way - i got that from Carl Jung,
i proudly tell myself.

After fifteen minutes, what wanted to be written
dries up,
and i think maybe now i should do the dishes?
Not yet, i tell myself.
i want to learn more about the
metaphysics of imagination of Ibn Al Arabi.
nothing really can be more important than that!
i read a little in my new big tome of a book
and take some notes to clarify these complex sentences a bit
for myself.

i take note of the time
and realise i have some sessions with clients and a meeting with my partners.
ahhh, my day starts to unfold.

One of my sessions was online with a new client,
i explain to him
the value of practice
how it’s like a cleaning of our psychophysicality,
of our physical and mental conditioning,
i tell him about “The Korean Friend”,
a central story about practice within Fighting Monkey research.

In the evening i return home.
For some reason i enter the apartment sensing
an angry energy.
My girlfriend looks me in the eye,
arms crossed.
i sit down and ask her
”what’s the problem?”
She points at the kitchen.
i go look and
see the complete mess.
it always seems more than i had imagined it to be.
i tell her
i’ll do it right away
first i want to arrive a little bit.
i tell her
it will be done by the end of the day.
She gets angrier.

i decide to start cleaning
those damn dishes.
i sense my lower back tensing
and get even more mad.
my thoughts going all over
why does everything have to be cleaned all the time?
why can’t i just clean it when it starts to bother me?

In the evening i sit down
in silence
and see the idiocy of this repeating scene,
this day must have happened dozens of times.

Thank God i have a practice
or maybe I would never have noticed it!